Banning Social Media is the solution?

Many of you might have heard that Australia is the first country in the World to “ban” Social Media for kids below 16 years old last week. I am not going to lie, I did not disagree and cannot hide that some part of me is happy. However, for the last few days, I have been listening, watching news and debates about how good the Australian decision was… so it got me thinking over and over and even talking with my kids about it, to get their thoughts and for my surprise, they are OK with the ban…🤨

BUT, still not sure whether I am still fully convinced that banning social media would solve most of the teenagers and parents’ problems. Here are the questions/thoughts that I am trying to find out an answer and maybe you could help me?

  1. Following my previous blog, is really Social Media bad for our kids?
  • What if, it is not “Social Media”, but as us as Parents, who need to share more time with our kids and NOT just telling them “DON’T spend too much time on screen/social media”. What we do to spend and share more times with our kids?
  •   What are the “un-intended” consequences of banning social media for kids? Especially for those kids, who have difficulties in making friends or don’t like too much personal interaction, because they are shy, etc. I used to be shy when in high school and always pushed myself to talk and make friends…but it was hard and I wish I could use social media by then…
  • What if, we cut kid’s creativity or opportunities. I know that there are young kids with big ideas or even earlier “business” sense… by banning social media, are we delaying their development as well?

It is quite difficult to find the right balance, but I think that as parent, we need to… What do you think?

What do you think about Social Media for Kids, Pre-Teens and Teenagers?

As Parents, we are all worried about how our young kids are dealing with their daily life outside home. But do you think it is only “outside” home? Social Media has opened the doors to get into our homes, even without permission from Dad or Mum (you and me), right? So today I would like to think louder about what are the Pro and Cons of Social Media for our Kids and see if you agree with me or not OR if you have any other point of view that you would like to share and maybe myself or any of our friend could use.

Here is what I think about the “Pros” of Social Media for our kids:

  1. Connect with others: while I am old school and prefer to meet new people face to face, nowadays for teenagers and pre-teens, it could help to connect or bond with friends and family members via social media;
  2. Hobbies and Learnings: our kids could use social media to follow their hobbies/interests or have new ones and at the same time learning what they already know;
  3. Identity: social media could help your kids to connect with online groups that share same cultural background, preferences and ideas

Now here are the “Cons” or what I could call “risks”, but let’s not generalize and think that this could happen to any of our kids:

  1. Being exposed to inappropriate contents: aggressive, violent or sexual images that could create trauma or have a psychological impact;
  2. Cyberbullying: whether on purpose or not, teens could hurt each other with making aggressive or hurting comments repeatedly online. Like I said I am old school and when I was a teenager (40 years ago🤔…) of course there was bullying, but at least you know who and why they were doing what they were doing. Now, people could be physically in the other side of the world and still hurting you for not reason….
  3.   Personal info leakage: this could happen not only to teens but to anyone. Teens might be target not only to steal personal info, but also incentive consumption or buying things that they might not need to…
  4. Pressure to follow up: becoming an obsession to follow their idols or “influencers” just for the sake to give a “like”. Then how they could keep up with their personal lives if they want to live their idols’ life?

I could keep listing up the “Cons or potential risks” for our teens, but I want to be objective and would like to hear your thoughts. Maybe I could learn how to deal better with all the concerns and anxieties that social media are creating for an old fashion/old school like me….😉 Please let me know what you think about it.  

How I Motivate My Kids?

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Both of my kids are doing good in everything, but sometimes I am struggling to keep them motivated. What is your experience?

I am trying to take different approaches and adapt to the situation, for instance with my son (11 years old), he is really sporty and very competitive on any sport. So, when I feel he is not on his best days for school or studying, I am trying to make an analogy with soccer (his favour sport😉) and asking him, “tell me son, when you try to make a goal, is it easy or it requires, patience, perseverance and effort? If so, think about studying doing the same, to finish, you need effort and once you are done, you will feel as making a goal like Messi!!”

With my daughter, a teenager… it is more difficult and I need to adapt depending on her days…probably if you have a teenager kid, you know what I am talking about and if you do not and your kid is still young, please wait for it! Believe me, it will come… Some days, when she is down but in bad mood, I use some long silence first. I let her speak and come to me, but if she does not, then I just ask “is there anything that is bothering you and I could help” instead of start lecturing her. In those days, where she is super UP, but instead of using her energy and time on her iPad or iPhone, I just invite her to do something together like cooking. Then I engage by asking, “these days what is making you feel good?” This is great trigger, so whatever is what she starts speaking with passion, I just add more gas to the fire (in a good sense). I think that after our chats, she channels her energy in a more constructive way rather than just watching her mobile, etc.

Could you please share how you are motivating your kids? Tell me about it, since I feel I have much to learn!

How we make babies?

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Today my 10 years old son asked me for the first time with seriour face, Papi, “how we make babies”? I was preparing myself knowing that this kind of question would come and I would not be able to keep telling him that an Angel would bless your loved lady and then a baby would be born….I don’t think he would believe me. Regardless, I replied by asking him a question, “what do you think”? I know that kids at his school have been talking about it since my son mentioned once, so before going to explanation, I want to see how he thinks. Also, it gives me one more day to think about how I could explain 😊. Tomorrow, I will let you know…

So, following yesterday discussion with my son, he explained me what he thoughts about making babies. According to him, he and his friend have been also discussing at school and long story short, he believes that when a boy kisses a girl, then the baby is made. It was a cute thought, because he then said “Papi, that is why I don’t want to kiss a girl now, I cannot make a baby now”. Then, here it comes my explanation and considering that he is only 10 years old, I did not think I should explain in details, but at least give him some initial guidance! First, I told him, “son, while you are not totally wrong, it is not actually the way of how babies are made. Let me start first to tell why you are not wrong, when you kiss someone that means that you like and love the person. That is the most important part of making a baby. Babies are a fruit of LOVE! Now, it is not because you kiss a girl the baby is made already. Girls have inside of their bodies a small egg and boys have in their bodies small seeds. So, when both egg and seeds meet and like I said always with LOVE, the magic starts and the baby is made”. I think that he was happy with the explanation, but I could see that he still has some questions, so I wait. However, he said “OK Papi, I got it” Phew….I thought he was going to ask me for more details!! Nevertheless, I know that those questions will come eventually, so I need to start thinking about it😉

What do you think? Have your son or daughter already asked you and if so, would your share your story?

When I was born, was what you expected about me?

Today, my teenage daughter asked me whether when she was born, I was happy and what I expected about her like being like me or her mum. Not really sure why out of the blue she asked me that question, but I thought it was interesting to share with you.

I tried to split my answer in 2 parts. First of all, I told her that, of course I was HAPPY and seeing her strong, healthy and so cute made me the happiest man in the entire world (same feeling when my son was born) and while a mix of feelings, happiness and also fear since I was father for the first time, it is a feeling that I will never forget.

“Now on your question what I expected about your being like me or mum”, I told her that I never had any expectation of how my daughter or son should be. We are all “different” even though we have the same blook and that is what it makes each of use “unique”. She was surprised with my answer, because it seems that she was expecting me to answer, “you look like me and that is why I was happy”, but she never thought about my response…I told her that we should NOT stereotype or think about how are kids should be, but instead to help our kids to be UNIQUE!

What do you think and have ever any of your kid/s asked you something similar?